I think that all of us, if we’re truly honest with ourselves, have struggled with doubt in our lives at one point or another. I know that I have struggled with self-doubt for a lot of my life. I’ve doubted I was pretty enough, smart enough, Godly enough, worthy enough; doubted whether I was the right person for the job, the list goes on.
As far back as I can remember, I have struggled with feeling less than confident. I remember starting to worry about what others thought of me as early as fifth or sixth grade. My lack of confidence has affected my friendships. I have a hard time opening up and trusting others, fearing they will reject me or be unwilling to look past my past to see the person I truly am. My worry about how others might perceive me has caused me to have a lot of difficulty in introducing myself to new people. That whole “mingle and ask someone you don’t know these 3 questions” thing…yeah, I hate when that happens! My lack of confidence has kept me from pursuing my dreams. I allow the fear of failure or rejection to sneak in, keeping me from making phone calls or approaching others about helping me with a goal in my Mary Kay business. My doubts have truly impacted every area of my life.
I would love to learn how to be more confident. Not cocky, but to have the confidence that God will equip me to do the things to which He has called me. To know that if He has placed a dream in my heart, He will provide the tools needed to accomplish that dream. In Exodus 3:11, we see Moses question whether he is really the right man for the job to which God has called him. Yet, even in the midst of his doubt, God used Moses to bring the Israelites out of slavery in Egypt. I sometimes forget that God uses everyone…the loud, the quiet, the faithful, the adulterer, the rich, the poor. This weekend at church, our pastor said something that really struck me: “It isn’t about what you don’t have, but what you do have.” God knows your unique abilities and talents, and He will use those to bring glory to Himself. He knows my abilities and talents. He also knows my limitations. He knows what He has equipped me to do, and He knows where I would fail miserably. Why do I keep telling Him all the reasons I’m not the right person, instead of seeing what He sees when He looks at me?
In the coming days, I’m planning to explore this topic a little more. I’m using Renee Swope’s 7-Day Doubt Diet as a springboard, but what you’ll read here will be the things the Lord is teaching me through the process.