What if I Fail?

Have you ever made up your mind that you were going to do something, only to get halfway there and lose all motivation? I would guess we’ve all been there. And if you’re anything like me, you’ve been there MANY times.  So, what in the world should we do with that sense of failure?

Get up! Dust yourself off. And try again.

Here’s what I mean. At the beginning of January, I made 2 goals for myself. Both goals related to my word of the year INTENTIONAL. I wrote down the goals, asked friends to help me stay accountable to them. Then, two weeks into the month, life happened and I fell off the wagon. I allowed myself to take a day off from the goals. Then, one day turned into two. Two days turned into a week. The next thing I knew, it was the end of January and I had failed.

But guess what…my friends didn’t fail me. My God didn’t fail me. I failed. I can’t blame anyone else. Sure, I want to blame it on the 2 year molars causing my son to wake super early several mornings, throwing me off my routine. Or on the fact that the exercises HURT and I was in pain and needed a break. Or on all those names in the geneological listings of the Old Testament…those are hard to read! But the blame doesn’t fall on any of those things. The blame falls on me.

So, what am I going to do? I’m going to get up, dust myself off, and try again! Tomorrow is a new day. It is a new opportunity to be intentional with my time. And God promises me in His word that every morning, His mercies are renewed.

But this I call to mind,
and therefore I have hope:
The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases;
His mercies never come to an end;
they are new every morning;
great is Your faithfulness.
Lamentations 3:21-23 (ESV)

Every day, no matter what yesterday held, His mercies are new. No. Matter. What. He is faithful, even when I am not. He loves me, even when I am unlovely. He is merciful, even when I am undeserving of His mercy.

If you’ve failed at your January goals, don’t give up on your 2015 goals. Remember, tomorrow is a new day. You have a fresh, new slate to start over, to try again. Grab hold of that chance, and embrace it. Pray for wisdom, ask your friends to help you, and start anew. Will you fail again? Probably. I will too. And that’s OK. Every time we fail, we have a chance to try again, to learn something, to grow. The only time we truly fail is when we give up.

Advertisements

A Year in Review: Intentional

Photo Credit: marianna armata (Creative Commons)

Photo Credit: marianna armata (Creative Commons)

 

Way back in January, I decided that my word for 2014 would be intentional. I listed several areas in which I wanted to be more intentional with the way I spent my time. So…how did I do?

Before I get to the specific areas, I want to just come right out and say, I started the year strong, but really fizzled out pretty quickly. I still spent way too much time on unimportant things, or just not being intentional about my time.

Here are the areas I wanted to be intentional in:

  1. My relationship with my husband – This year turned out a LOT different that I planned, in a lot of ways.  But I do believe that my husband and I have a stronger relationship today than we did a year ago. We are talking more, not just sitting next to each other (though, that happens too!), we are learning to depend on each other more, and more importantly, to depend on God more. What could we have done differently to make this year better? More intentional time together away from the kids…date nights, maybe even a weekend away here and there.
  2. My relationship with my children – Wow…this one is hard for me. There are days that I feel I did REALLY well here, and there are days that I feel I failed miserably. Don’t we all feel that way sometimes though, mamas? I do think I’m still learning and growing here, though. I think I’ve become a more observant, attentive parent this year, I’ve learned things about my kids, and I’m enjoying them more. I still need to work on this area, and one way I know I can do that is by spending more focused time with each of them individually.
  3. My relationship with God – I started out so strong here, and fizzled so quickly. I’ve let the demands of my day, the busy-ness of my life, the exhaustion of mommyhood fill me…instead of seeking to allow God to fill me. Sure…I have days (even weeks) where I truly seek Him…and then I have days/weeks/months at a time when I barely crack open my bible (electronic or actual pages). I do believe that my prayer life is stronger, as I find myself praying regularly throughout the day…whether a praise, prayer of thanks, or call of “HELP ME!!!”
  4. Reading/completing books – I’ve actually done OK here. No, I’m not reading every day…but so far, I’ve finished all but one book this year (the one I’m reading now…I have 4 days, maybe I’ll actually finish it before year-end?). I’ve read a mix of fiction and non-fiction books…books that have challenged me, encouraged me, and even some that simply entertained me. I look forward to reading more in the new year.
  5. Making my house a home – I started out the year printing a cleaning schedule. I knew I’d have to slowly work my way up to completely every task every day…but I was doing a decent job of doing a few cleaning tasks each day. Then, we decided to put our house on the market, and the cleaning got intense. I really felt like all I did was clean for a couple of months. We moved in August, and I’ve made it a goal to try to keep up with laundry and dishes…but there is SO MUCH more I could do every single day. I could do a much better job of cleaning up after my kids (and getting them to clean up after themselves), as well as general pick-up/cleaning throughout the day. But…I don’t want cleaning to be the only thing I do all day. So, I’m still working on finding the balance.

Overall, I actually feel that I did better than I originally thought. However, I still see room for improvement in all 5 areas, and that’s why I’ve decided that intentional will once again be my word for 2015. I’m going to do things a little differently this time around. For starters, I have 2 sweet friends who will be praying for me, checking in, and holding me accountable, and I will be doing the same for them.  Also, I will be making my relationship with God the most important priority. I know that none of the other items on my list will work if He is not first in my life.

What was your word for 2014? How did you do?

Pondering…

So, I’m sitting here tonight thinking about so many things. After spending time with a group of dreamers over the weekend, hearing stories of people who are working hard to make their dreams a reality – whether it be jobs, hobbies, or something else. And I’m beginning to wonder if I’ve lost touch with my own dreams. You see, about 10 years ago, while working as an elementary teacher, God began to break my heart for the broken, hurting families in my world. I saw children who had parents who loved them, but didn’t know the right ways to show their love. Parents who were so emotionally and mentally hurt by the people in their lives that they took it out on their children or spouse. I saw parents who could never find the good things about their children. And I saw parents who could never see things about their children that needed to be corrected. To be honest, I really didn’t see a lot of healthy, happy families. Sure – there were a few in each class…but the vast majority of families that I saw were dealing with some major hurts.

It was at that time that God began to put a dream in my heart. A dream to help families. To help children. Parents. Spouses. How was I, a single, broke elementary teacher, supposed to help these people?? I knew I didn’t have the right resources. I didn’t have the money. I didn’t have experience as a parent or in a marriage. But what I did have was Jesus…and this dream to help.

Fast forward a couple of years…I quit my teaching job, got married, and kind of forgot about my dream in the process. Then, we started our own family, and I became engrossed in all things Stay-at-Home-Mom. And, I grew further away from my dream.

Then, about 2 1/2 years ago, my husband rediscovered his own dreams. He began writing, encouraging others, and finding the things that truly fulfilled him. He started introducing me to other dreamers…and little flickers of my own dream started to resurface. And that’s where I am tonight. Really starting to look at my dream. Trying to figure out what exactly it is that I want to do with my life. Love my family? YES! Be an awesome wife and mom? Absolutely. But lose myself in the process? No way!! I know God is calling me to help others…but what, exactly, does that mean? Am I to go back to school for a Master’s degree? Start a counseling business? Or am I supposed to write? Simply be a friend to a woman in need of encouragement? Or something totally different?

These are the questions that I’m pondering tonight as I start to look at what I want to do once I’m able to leave my baby at home for more than a couple of hours before he needs fed.

In the Morning When I Rise

Photo by Alejandro Erickson (Creative Commons)

Photo by Alejandro Erickson (Creative Commons)

In the morning when I rise

In the morning when I rise

In the morning when I rise

Give me Jesus

Give me Jesus

Give me Jesus

You can have all this world

Give me Jesus

(Give Me Jesus – Fernando Ortega)

Yep…it’s been a LONG time since I last posted. I can’t promise to be a consistent blogger (obviously), but I think I have found a reason to post at least somewhat consistently. This is my story…

For the past 6 months or so, I have been involved in an online community of women who desire to maximize their mornings by waking early enough to spend some quality time studying Scripture, exercising, and even planning out the day. All of this before the kids wake up! Unfortunately, in the past 6 months, I’ve also dealt with the extreme exhaustion of pregnancy in the third trimester, childbirth, and life with a newborn and a three-year-old. Needless to say, I have struggled to wake up earlier than my family. I have done well for a week or two, then fallen behind for a day, week, or month. I am so thankful that this isn’t about me being perfectly consistent…because I am obviously anything but perfectly consistent.

What I have discovered is that on the days when I made my mornings a priority, my entire day seemed to go more smoothly. My daughter was still a three-year-old with all the same fun and challenges as before…but I was more equipped to handle all of it! My house was still a mess…but I wasn’t so stressed about it because I had a plan for working on my mess. My body was still tired, my baby still cried, my days still crazy…but God filled me up each morning with peace, and I was reminded throughout the day that His grace was sufficient (2 Corinthians 12:9). I also discovered that on the days that started with my sleeping in til my daughter woke me up, I often woke up cranky, exhausted, and not ready to deal with the day. It took me longer to feel up to the task of parenting, I was resentful of my messes, my temper was shorter, and my day seemed full of chaos.

Why am I telling you this? Because I am going to try again. I have felt the Lord nudging my heart to make my mornings with Him a priority in my my day. I have heard Him calling, and I have decided to answer. So, starting May 6, I will be participating in my third challenge with the Hello Mornings community (HMC). For thirteen weeks (May 6-August 2), I am committing to waking up before my family (or at least before my 3 year old, since the baby is still somewhat inconsistent in his morning waking times). I am committing to spending time each morning reading and studying the book of John, using the Meet Jesus study guide from HMC. I’m telling all of you because I need all the accountability I can get. HMC provides accountability through my online small group (the group I’ve joined is on facebook, but there are also twitter groups available)…but I’m also asking you, my only blog reader, to hold me to this! Ask me about it. Pray for me. Encourage me to write an update every so often about what the Lord is teaching me.

If you’d like to join me in committing to spend time with Jesus, just head over to Hello Mornings to register! Registration is open until Friday May 3…but groups fill up quickly! I am excited to see what path the Lord has in store for me in the next three months, and I hope you will join me!

Christian Community

Why I Need Community

Photo by Páris Neto (Creative Commons)

Community. What is it? Do we need it? Why?

To me, community is a group of people with whom I can truly be myself. It is that small circle of friends where we can share our deepest hurts, our greatest joys, our smallest details, and our biggest mistakes…all in the safety that comes from knowing we’ll be loved no matter what.

Do we need community? My answer to that question is a resounding YES! I believe every single person needs community in their lives. Why? Because we all need to know that no matter what happens, we are loved, valued, and encouraged. We need a place where we can be true to our broken, imperfect selves.

I wear a mask that says I have it all together. I am a Christ-follower, wife, mom, daughter, friend, sister. I am a Mary Kay Consultant, former teacher and tutor, dreamer, blogger, family chef, and potty-trainer. I want people to think all of these areas of my life are GREAT! Unfortunately, reality paints a different picture. My house is a mess, my laundry is piled high waiting to be folded. My doubts and fears stop me from pursuing my dream. I yell and cry when I’m angry, clam up when I’m sad. I am far from perfect…and I’d venture to guess you are, too.

This is why community is so important! My community of close friends knows my imperfections, and they love me anyway. They know my strengths, and support me as I use them to serve God and others. These friends also know my weaknesses, and encourage me as I step out of my comfort zones and do things I’m not necessarily good at. They are people I can turn to when I have messed up. They may even be the ones to point out my brokenness, and that’s OK because I know they will also be the people used by God to help put me back together.

Community does not require us to be perfect, it simply requires that we be present. 

What about you…why is community important in your life?